I left my previous school about two weeks out from their grading. I was pretty bummed about it. What's the point of knowing what a tang is if I'm not being marked on it?
I realize not all schools grade in the way that mine does. I also realize that some HEMAists don't feel compelled to assign a rank to their skill set and are happy to never go through any kind of grading process. For myself; my evolutionary hard-wiring dictates my desire to belong to a group and to adhere to that chosen group's hierarchy.
Plus, like, it's fun.
So, I graded last week.
I've been practicing HEMA for about a year and a half. Before last week, I had not yet had an opportunity to undertake a grading. It felt like it was long overdue. I was ready to prove myself. Maybe a little too ready - since I found myself unexpectedly nervous in the days and hours leading up to it. The instructors had been coy about what the grading consisted of, I didn't know if I'd be whacked with a paddle or forced to run across hot coals.
It turns out, nothing so extreme. We spent about an hour and a half doing all the same drills I knew and loved - only this time we were being watched like hawks. The added knowledge of being scrutinized made it harder to concentrate at times, and I found my footwork getting clumsy and my face betraying that fact. I couldn't understand it; people around me were laughing and joking, why was I seemingly the only one stressing?
Well, now that it's done, I can see how Not A Big Deal it is. Sure, it's nice to get assigned a colour and a patch and to be able to tell your friends what a bonafide martial artist you are. It's nicer, I think, to have a tangible way to measure the hours of work you have put into getting better at something. Some people abhor labels, but sometimes they can be quite comforting.
I'm not any better at HEMA just because I got assigned a rank. But now I'll have something I can hold, touch, look at. Remind myself in my less confident moments that I'm not just imagining my progress. Everyone else can see it too.
That's a pretty nice feeling.
